The Testimony of Faithy

Well where do I start on my journey to God?
You probably all know me by my ccuk nickname Faithy; but I was named Ami. I am 23 and I live in the happy county of Essex.  

My first belief started when my lovely granny took me to church when I was 8 years old and I took my Barbie dolls too; aww bless! lol and my granny said “Ami put your dolls down and listen to the nice vicar”.
As he was giving the service I saw a stained glass window and a light shining through it. I felt safe and liked church so kept going back.

As a little girl I liked the Noah’s Ark story. Actually, we did that in school. I was a Rabbit, lol, as my learning was so bad!
I used to look at pictures in the bible I always longed to read. I have mild cerebral palsy and a cyst on my brain. It does affect my life and I recently found out I have bad coordination problems to do with my cyst so I have regular brain scans; because if it twists it could kill me!

This is why I am glad I have got God, because I don’t feel as scared. Well I forgot God quite a bit at school, where unfortunately I was badly bullied. In primary school, because of the special boots I had and because I was overweight I didn’t have many friends and spent a lot of days crying and struggled with my lessons. High school was worse as my cerebral palsy was at its worst. I got new burns every day as I got pushed down concrete stairs and my face slammed against barbed wire and cut open.

In year 9, a Christian group came to my school; they had these
confidential meetings where you could tell them anything. They blabbed what I told them and my faith died again.

I remember once screaming “Help me God” in the middle of a field and I thought I felt his arms round me but my head was so screwed up I don’t know. I had boyfriends still but they all used me and betrayed
me so I dated a girl briefly for a year but didn’t like it so went back to dating boys.

I was getting bullied by my teachers who told me I was worthless, that I’d never pass my exams or get a job! I turned to drink for a while; it’s making me cry writing this ; and I left school at 16. I got a job passed 12 GCSE exams; worked two months with the elderly then got 6 years working with disabled adults. I got carer of the year, but 4 years into that job a new boss started and she bullied me so much I had to resign. She didn’t like me because of my disabilities. The next week I was having fits because of it.